People with herpes should wear stickers.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
