I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Randomize
