i need an iv and a liver transplant
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Randomize
