Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
