remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
