Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
