I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Also, beer. Big fan.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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