Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
