Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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