I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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