how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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