i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
