fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
