Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Randomize
