..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Randomize
