I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
did i just pee glitter
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
