Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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