You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
