she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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