Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
