the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
