This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Randomize
