I swear she didn't look like that last week.
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Randomize
