I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Randomize
