dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
