is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Dick very happy bro
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
