i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
