Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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