He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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