yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
they need to just BURY HIM!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
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