Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
