oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
