Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
