i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Randomize
