My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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