I got chris browned last night
It's Friday. Sex?
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Drunk walkin through police station. America
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Randomize
