Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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