doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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