Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
