why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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