I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
Randomize
