i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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