I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
