Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
