so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
