that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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