im drinking this country out of the recession.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
