guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Do vagina's smell?
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
