you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
