oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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