i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
