The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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