Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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