If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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