Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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