so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
