Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
soo... how was my night?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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