god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
